Category: Journaling

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling

“Faith without Works is Dead”

Sonja Hollis

I ask for the Lord to use me daily -to be a light for others to see His goodness.  I also ask for the Lord to bless my creativity.  My heart is always in the right place, just not my head and for that reason, I have made a very costly error in not moving when the Spirit tells me to move.

A year ago, I was blessed with an idea that could make a huge impact in the world. I only told my husband about it because I didn’t want anyone else to steal the idea.  I worked on it for about a week, but allowed my finances to be an excuse to not continue.  I looked for patents – none were found – not even pending. I knew that I would have to hire an attorney and then pay for the patents.  The costs seemed to keep piling up, so to add another bill was just not a smart thing to do (flesh talking).  But God gave me that idea, right?  I knew the Lord wouldn’t bring me that far and leave me.  So, I did the easy parts; bought the supplies, created a journal to document the ideas over time and I even tried to make it myself.  Then, I put it all in a drawer and left it alone.

Some time later, my husband asked what I was going to do with my idea.  I told him that I needed help with drawing.  He told me to try it on my own.  He told me to add the free apps to help me with drawing. So I tried.  I worked on it for another week or so, then lost interest.

I always kept in the back of my head, thinking…”I need to work on that” but then, I didn’t for one reason or another -“It’s too expensive,” “I don’t have time,” and “It’s no longer needed.”

Late last night, I opened my facebook page and what was staring at me in my face?  The idea the Lord gave to me.  Except, it didn’t have my name on it…deservedly so.  It was on a major news website. I couldn’t even be upset. I could not even cry.  It was my own fault. The Lord supplied my needs according to my faith, but as it said in James 2:14-26, “Faith without works is dead.”  He handed me bread to eat because I was hungry, but I didn’t eat because I was too lazy to lift my hand to my mouth.

I can only pray that I do better when given another opportunity.

I decided to write about it today because I believe it’s important to share my trials just as I share my testimonies and so others dont make the same mistake.  Keep the faith, keep praying and keep going- don’t quit.

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Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling

Spring Break?

Sonja Hollis

As you probably know already, I’m a stay-at-home mom. That means when spring break for the kids rolls around – my mommy duties increase dramatically.  There is no break for me. There are more meals to make, clothes and dishes to wash and my “me” time is eliminated entirely.

I thought that at least this time around would be different.  My son isn’t home and it’s just me, my husband and my five year old daughter.  HOWEVER… on day one of spring break, my daughter complained of an earache.  So, I of course decided to try some home remedies and prayer because I was not trying to sit in anybody’s hospital for nine hours.  I tried the essential oils on cotton I found on Pinterest. I tried the neck massage I found on YouTube. I even tried the steamy bath water. It worked…for one night.  But then, the next morning, my baby girl woke up with her eyes stuck together.  Now mind you, the school had been sending paperwork about children having pink eye in school since September but so far, it hadn’t affected my daughter…that is, until this week – spring break.

So, off to the doctor’s office we went.  Turns out, she had a double ear infection and two pink eyes…(because one just won’t do for a princess.) She couldn’t see or hear me. Poor thing – although, I’m not sure which of us to whom I’m referring.  We received her prescriptions, came home and started to work on her right away.

Today, she’s much better.  Her hearing isn’t back 100% yet, but at least she doesn’t have crusty eyes.  Spring break is almost over and I haven’t gotten much work done nor have I had any time to myself, but my daughter is feeling better. That’s really what matters to me.  It should also be noted that she isn’t in school to pass along the germ that she’d received from that petri dish they call kindergarten either, so maybe the cycle is broken.  Perhaps my daughter saved the school from shutting down entirely due to a pink eye epidemic (my words).  Maybe, just maybe she saved other parents from having to take off work and take their children out of school to care for them for a few days. clipart-superhero-6

My child is a hero.

So I guess it has been a pretty good spring break after all.

Journaling, Lupus

Another Flare

Sonja Hollis

lupusbutterflyLupus has a way of masking itself as other ailments. In the past, I’ve had to go to opthamologists because I briefly lost sight in my eyes. They said it was swelling, gave me some medicine and told me to come back in a few days. When I lost hearing in both my ears, the audiologist said it was swelling in my ears, gave me some medicine and told me to come back in a few days. Once, my heart felt as if it was going to explode. It felt like it was too big for my chest (only way to define the pain). The emergency room physician said the tests determined that my heart was fine, the EKG didn’t show anything but gave me some Dilaudid and sent me home. It was if I’d made it up in my head, but I didn’t. So, now I just don’t go to the doctor whenever something happens. I figure it’s probably Lupus.

A couple of days ago, I started to get some swelling in my left foot. I took a couple of Extra Strength Tylenol. I figured it would just go away. It didn’t. As a matter of fact, the pain began to travel up my left side and rested in my lower pelvic area. That’s when the pain sat me down. Yesterday, I woke up and the pain was in the left side of my chest, near my heart (again). I never assume it’s a heart attack anymore, but always assume it’s Lupus.

I get tired of doctors watching me having total body spasms or pains that are out of reach inside my body and them saying that they don’t understand why it’s happening and would rather just give me prescriptions for pain, and inflammation and also muscle relaxers just to get me out of their faces. I get it. This is why I don’t go whenever I feel bad. I just take my medicines and rest. There’s really nothing else they can do. There’s no cure.

The only drawback to taking those meds is that they are so strong, I am unable to take care of myself or anyone else. I can’t do any work because it’s hard to string two thoughts together. I don’t like the high. I don’t get how people want to feel like that. It feels like an out of body experience – like things are happening around you and you can’t do anything about it.

Well, I’m writing this blog as I am coming out of the high from this last round of drugs. Some of the pain is still there, but I can function better now. I’m still a little dizzy, able to write, but not much else. I won’t push it.

Lupus sucks. Please pray for a cure.

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling, Lupus, organization

Sketch Notes

Sonja Hollis

I really love these sketch notes.  They allow me to be creative while writing my grocery lists, my to-do lists or just my every day thoughts.  Who knew that what we called doodling in school would become a “thing”?

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Credit to Dana Ladenburger, Twitter

Lupus sometimes creates what they call “brain fog.”  It’s when you have problems concentrating or remembering something. It can be frustrating because it happens at the most inconvenient time (as if there is a good time to forget or lose concentration). So, I’m constantly writing notes on sticky notes to remember stuff, but then misplace them…or my daughter decides they’re hers and writes on them.  I have what seems like a million note pads with letters and reminders to myself. However, since using this method introduced to me by my husband, it no longer feels like a chore when I have to write something down.  It allows me to use both sides of my brain. I can write down the necessary information in a logical fashion, but then I get to highlight them in pretty colors and make pictures to help remind me of the important points. Pretty cool.

We’ll see how long this method lasts.  I’m always up for new things, but then someone else shows me another “shiny object” and I get distracted.  Until the next time…

 

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling, organization

INSPIRED TO ORGANIZE

Sonja Hollis

 

So after watching a friend’s Youtube video, The Winey Budget  I was inspired to get organized.  That notion passed quickly though as I am a creature of chaos

I have purchased notebooks, planners, phone apps – all with the intent on getting organized.  I’ve watched videos, searched Pinterest for ideas and created calendars of every size …to no avail.  I doubt I will ever be as organized as I’d love to be, but until then, I’ll keep trying.

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This is just the right side of my desk!

Last night, my husband gave me a bullet journal that I told him that I had seen on Pinterest. I’ve actually started using it – not because I know what I’m doing, but because I know he will ask me about it later.   My husband is also responsible for setting up my office in my basement.  AND OF COURSE my monitor size is ridiculous – a man set it up! (You should see the TV in the family room!)

Anyway, I’m trying to juggle this thing called stay-at-home mom’ing that people think is such an easy task.  Well, I’ve worked from the time that I was fifteen up until the time that I retired and let’s just say this stay-at-home stuff is way harder. Before I retired, I worked 8-10 hours in a scout car, went home, cooked, ate and went to bed.  Now, I have to schedule one day to myself every month just to decompress from the ridiculousness of my unorganized life. So, I need to get my stuff together.  I mean, I saw it on TV!  Moms cleaning, cooking, doing laundry while wearing high heels and mascara, taking kids to their activities, then coming home and being “wife”… and they did all of this with a smile. What the heck am I doing wrong?

I’m supposed to be retired. Yet, here I am doing all of the abovementioned activities, being a girl scout mom, a dance mom, a swim mom and a small business owner. So yeah, I’m a work in progress. Follow me on my adventure as I get my life in order or die trying. LOL

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling, organization

SAHM Planning Day 4

Sonja Hollis

Day 4 of my new Journaling Journey and I am still enjoying the process.  I’ve realized that from writing down my goals for the day, that sometimes I set the bar too high.  For example, yesterday I wrote that I would take my daughter to school, work out for an hour, then come home clean for an hour and then go back to pick up my daughter from school, cook dinner, wash dishes, etc.

Ok, so this is what really happened: I dropped her off, I worked out, then I came home and passed out for an hour.  I had to put off cleaning until after my daughter got home and had lunch.  I got it done though – house cleaned from top to bottom and I’d worked out.  I had accomplished what I didn’t think I could do in a relatively short period of time.

Also, the fact that my meals are all planned out, removes the stress of trying to think of something last minute or ordering take out.  I also learned to write on my dry erase board that’s attached to the fridge – a menu for the day. There are no changes either – no additions or deletions.  Stress free. I’m loving it so far.

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling, organization, Saving Money

Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM) Stuff

Sonja Hollis

So… my husband purchased a “Life & Apples” growth planner and I’ve decided that today would be the day to start logging in my affirmations, tasks and goals for my life.   I actually started brainstorming and writing small notes a week prior so that when I opened my planner, I would be ready…hopefully.

What I soon realized however, is that what I thought were just small, attainable goals actually required many steps to achieve.  For example, under the “Career and Finances” category – I wrote that I wanted to stop using my credit cards as much as I have been in the last three months.  To do that, requires me to cut down on spending.  Therefore, I checked my bank and credit card accounts to see where the bulk of my spending was and it was *insert drum roll* grocery shopping.  Ridiculous!  I used to coupon and check the weekly ads for sales, but I’d stopped that and just started shopping every week all willy nilly. (It doesn’t help that I live within five miles of Target, two Meijer stores, Walmart and Kroger) – so my spending has definitely increased.  I realized that I would have to become more organized with my shopping lists and spending habits.

I started by writing down and numbering every meal that I like to make for the family complete with sides. I wrote down the corresponding numbers to days of the week.

Monday – #1 – Meatballs with gravy, mashed potatoes and green beans.

Tuesday – #5 – Tacos, etc…

Then, I wrote down all the necessary ingredients that I would need for each meal.

On a separate sheet of paper, I began writing down the items that I didn’t have available in my fridge or pantry and I started clipping coupons.  I then went to my Ibotta app and my Checkout 51 app to see what would be eligible for rebates later and wrote that down.    My next step was to go to each store’s website to see what was on sale, clip my rewards and go shopping.  I decided on Meijer for this shopping trip. (I also use the Shopkick app while in the store which is why I can’t shop with my kids – I need to concentrate). It seems like a lot of work but gets easier over time.   I ended up saving over $50 – with an additional $7.50 in eligible rebates!

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At least now I can start the week off with savings!  I knocked off a couple of tasks in pursuit of the goal of cutting down on my spending and that felt great.  I’m also going to look around to find out other ways to save today.

I think this planner is the way to go!  I can look at my goals at the beginning of the week and see much I’ve achieved at the end.  I just have to be consistent…in everything.  Wish me luck!

Chronicles of a SAHM, Journaling, Lavender Fields Creations

Uninspired

Sonja Hollis

I find myself feeling totally uninspired. This is quite a contradiction as I am writing this because of a sudden inspiration to tell the world about how uninspired I am. (Weird)

Anyway, years ago, it was easy to put together a paragraph, a page, or a chapter. Now it’s difficult to even string two words together without having to use a dictionary. Inspiration used to flow from my fingertips onto paper, later to a keyboard where words were given life – like water – to anyone who would willingly partake of its goodness. I loved to write words describing my life and every intricate detail – it was juicy.

I don’t know if it’s the dis-ease that I have now which makes me mundane, dull, lackluster and oddly droll, but I want more. I want my old life back. I want laughter and dancing. I want poetry and fiction.

I want to feel life but how do I do this? How do I get my groove back?