Chronicles of a SAHM, Lavender Fields Creations, Saving Money

Unexpected Surprises

I have been struggling to find the perfect fit when it comes to finding part-time, work from home employment.  For me, it is much easier to find employment in a brick and mortar business and just as easy to find part time, but looking for a flexible, permanent, part-time, work-from-home job – has not proven an easy task for me.

I need flexibility because I invest so much of my time into my children and their activities.  In addition, I have to make accommodations due to my disability.  I can’t lift heavy things or sit/stand for long periods. I also cannot be outside in extreme weather- so yeah – my opportunities are limited.

I have continued to focus on growing my own business during my job search however, by making jewelry, painting, and writing.  It can be so disheartening when the money just doesn’t come in fast enough.  I try not to get discouraged, because I still get a pension check and of course, my husband – but it’s nothing like working to get what you want. Sometimes, I break down and allow myself to cry but then I pick myself right back up and pray and work as hard as I can.  I am researching new ways to “enlarge my territory”  and finding new networking opportunities to increase the traffic to my store, Lfieldscreations.etsy.com.

My husband, having seen me trying as hard as I could for additional employment and working hard every day to create items for my store, did something I was not expecting.  It happened on the day where I was about to break down again but instead prayed and asked the Lord for guidance because I wanted to make sure that what I was doing was what God wanted me to do.  Then, I received an email copy from my husband:

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Cricut Maker -Everything Rose Bundle

It was letting me know that “my” Cricut Maker was on the way!  I cried like a baby! I mean – ugly cried.  To have someone believe in me and support me in the ways that he has shown me – setting up both my business and crafting offices, installing a landline, and now buying a Cricut! I am so grateful and excited! This is confirmation for me.  I have been watching Youtube videos and writing notes preparing myself for the day that I could afford it.  I wanted to be ready to go whenever I got it.  My friend Sarah and I talked about it all the time about what we would do when one of us got one…and now I do.  I can’t wait to start our craft days.

God is so good and His goodness knows no limits. I give Him all the glory.   Love yall.

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Chronicles of a SAHM

I Need a Better Hiding Place

Stay-at-Home-Moms (SAHMs) typically look forward to the end of the day, when every one and every thing is quiet. That’s when we go to our hiding place. My hiding place happens to be my bathroom. I can close the door and think, or dream, or beautify, or just sit quietly and meditate.

Recently however, my hiding place has become no longer that. It has been compromised. This is what has been happening lately:

As I’m sitting on my vanity chair, I hear from a distance, “Mommm.” It’s my five year old daughter. She should be sleep, but has decided that finding out my location is a top priority- as I had not received clearance from her to disappear. I know she’s coming, so I sit as still and stay as quiet as I can.

“Mommmm. Dad, where’s mom?” I listen for his response, because of course, he’s got my back – I am he, he is me. We are one. And of course, he knows it’s after her bedtime and he needs to direct her to go back to her room and go to bed. But no. He tells her my exact location. “She’s in the bathroom.”

Snitch.

So, now I hear footsteps coming closer to the door. “Mom, are you in there?”

No response from me…I’m hiding.

“Mom, are you in there?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. What do you want?”

“Are you on the potty?”

“Sure. What do you want?”

“Did you have to boo boo?”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

“Are you mad?”

Face palm. “Omg. What do you want? I’m in the bathroom. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Can you put on my band-aid?”

“SERIOUSLY? GO ASK YOUR DAD!”

Now, I’m rushing through the shower just so I can place my hands around my husband’s neck. He heard all of this, but didn’t rush to help me (or her for that matter). I love my kids with my entire heart, but I definitely need a new hiding place.


Chronicles of a SAHM, poetry

Cracked Foundation

My foundation is cracked. My dad passed in 1989 and my mom, earlier this year.

My foundation is cracked.

I’ve not had an easy life. I’ve been raped, cheated on, lied to.
I’ve had disloyal friends. Worse – I’ve had disloyal family members.
My foundation is cracked.

I’ve had a car repossessed, a home foreclosed and lost valuable things in a flood.

Some days it feels like no one has my back.
I know that “Better days are coming” – they always do!
“Joy comes in the morning,” right?
“What I’m going through right now is preparing me for the things I asked for,” right?
“There is light at the end of the tunnel.” Okay.

It is just so hard at times.  I know God has me. I know that. It’s just hard.

Without my parents and grandparents, my foundation is definitely cracked.
But with God, I guess I am just thankful I even have the foundation.

 

Chronicles of a SAHM, Thinking of Mom

My Roots

I’ve had my mom on my mind for days. I miss her so much. She passed in January and it’s been so hard for me just realizing that she’s not here. I was so used to being able to call her just to say hello- knowing she would be there.

My friend wrote on her Facebook page the other day about how much she misses her grandparents and her parents. She said that although she has a strong group of support from family now, it’s not the same as having her roots. It’s what I had been trying to verbalize this whole time. I don’t have my roots. No grandparents, no parents – It’s just me. There’s no parachute, no Plan B. If I fail, then I fail and it’s just me – but when I succeed… well at least I can give them thanks. Thanks for raising me to be who I am. Thanks for giving me the love and guidance I needed when you were here, and thanks for introducing me to God.

God has been my rock. He has been my shoulder to cry on in the middle of the night when my support team is asleep. He’s always awake and He always listens.

He also let me know this morning that I now have to follow the examples of my parents and grandparents. I now have to become “the roots” for my children. I have to instill in them the goodness of the Lord. I have to establish in them, a foundation in Christ. If I didn’t have God in my life right now, I know that I wouldn’t make it. Life has dealt me some pretty hard blows, but I’m still standing…But God. I give Him the glory and the praise. He is the reason I woke up this morning.

So today will be my Day 1. I am going to embrace the lessons I have been taught by my “roots” and I am going to share them with my seedlings, so that they continue to develop and grow into the Light.

good morning.